October 2024 - The horse-chestnut tree is something that we have an abundance of in Britain with some 470,000 dotted across the country and mainly in parks, gardens and churchyards. Not as many as we have oak trees mind, they run into the millions, but enough to produce the number of seeds we need for an autumn past time that’s gone on for a few hundred years and a world championship that takes place today for the 57th time.
Like many of these ‘championships’, it would seem, it was created after a group of men set out to do one thing and ended up doing something quite different. It was autumn 1965, King Charles was 16 years old, and England were nine short months away from winning the Football World Cup, when a few chaps were due to go on a fishing trip that ended up getting postponed because of bad weather, so they did what any decent group of blokes would do - and went to the pub. A couple of beers in and they decide to play conkers and there it all began. On that day, the winner received a small prize in recognition of their achievement and some kind soul passed around a hat to raise a few quid for a relative of one of them who happened to be blind. Before you’re know it, it becomes an annual event, with more people wanting to enter the competition each year, and all financial contributions being donated to the Royal National Institute for the Blind for Talking Books. Over fifty years later and those ‘financial contributions’ have reached the unbelievable amount of £420,000 - all because the great British weather ruined a fishing trip.
For the first 45 years, the championships were held on the village green in Ashton, near Oundle, Northamptonshire, which itself is surrounded by Horse Chestnut trees, before moving to a bigger venue which it outgrew just four years later, such was the popularity of the championships and the ever-increasing number that wished to take part and an even bigger number that wanted to watch. Since 2013 however the championships have been held at The Shuckburgh Arms, in Southwick, just a few miles down the road. ‘The Shuck’ as it’s affectionately known is a Grade II listed building, dating from the 16th century, and was completely refurbished in 2023. On the outside is an elegant, thatched roof, whilst on the inside there’s an Inglenook fireplace to warm your cockles and a fine selection of beers and spirits to imbibe yourself with. A fine country pub if ever there was one.
Today, its car park and extensive beer garden will be taken over by some 2,000 visitors and 256 adult entrants, the most they’ve had at this venue and the maximum allowed, all vying for the titles of King and Queen Conker. They’ve travelled from far flung places such as Chichester, Fulham and Stoke on Trent in the UK, and Ireland, Poland, the Netherlands and the USA, amongst other worldly places.
With so many people attending and it taking a good four hours to whittle down so many entrants, there are other forms of entertainment on offer, from the re-enactment charms of Lord Robartes Regiment of Foote, to members of The Chelsea Pensioners being in attendance dressed in their smart scarlet tunics, and, upholding one of England’s finest traditions for these such events, the gentlemen of Peterborough Morris will dance before us with two performances.
The catering is being taken care of by the ladies in the Village Hall, who are doing a roaring trade in teas, coffee and soup (homemade winter vegetable apparently) all for the bargain price of £2 each, with all funds going towards the Southwick Church Fund. For those who are feeling a little peckish, there are pies, pasties, sausage rolls and the ubiquitous quiche on offer, along with a plethora of cakes - all homemade too. No commercially bought fare is on offer here.
For those wanting something a bit more substantial, there are other stalls dotted around the arena offering pizza, burgers, Argentinian spiced beef and something called ‘Raclette Cheese’ which looked rather interesting. It is worth mentioning that the Hog Roast was extremely popular, and the smell was to die for !
One of the biggest cheers, early on in the day, went up when it was announced that the beer tent had opened. Rather bizarrely, The Shuck closes whilst the championships take place, so they move things outdoors and a marquee is built - but without a thatched roof.
At the top end of the garden, the arena has been fenced off and is set with six podiums, marked A to F, ready for the competition. There are two adult competitions, one for the men and one for the women, who weren’t allowed to play until 1988, some 23 years after the first championships. Whether it was considered too dangerous a game to play or the men didn’t fancy losing to a woman in those days remains a mystery. Nevertheless, the women very much contest the championships now and the competition is as fierce as anything the men can offer - as will be proven later.
The conkers have all been collected, selected, graded and drilled before being threaded with the regulation squared leather string, which is knotted at the end, just the once mind, double knots are strictly forbidden. The grading process itself is quite thorough and any conkers that are deemed to be too hard for competition are sent to soak in water for a day to soften them up a little.
Just in case you were wondering, only conkers provided by the organisers are allowed and you’re expected to select your preferred playing nut, blind from a bag, before play commences. You can reject up to three horse chestnuts upon your inspection – the rounder the better, apparently, but bringing your own ‘super champion’ is forbidden as competitors have been known to enhance performance capabilities by injecting them with glue or resin or by putting them in the freezer (and not thawing them out before play) - anything to harden them up. Other ‘techniques’ designed to gain an advantage have also been employed and we shall hear more about that later !
It was only a few weeks ago that there was some concern as to whether this year’s event could take place as a number of recent storms had blown hundreds of conkers out of the trees before their time, and before they could be collected, and there was a good chance that they might rot before the big day. The Organisers managed to settle everyone’s fears though as they confirmed a couple of weeks ahead, that they had managed to collect some 3,000 of them and that the contingency plan of using nuts that had been frozen from last year, wouldn’t be needed after all. Phew !
It’s worth mentioning that ‘conkers’ are the seeds of the Horse Chestnut tree and are not edible as they are poisonous. If you do eat them, they can cause digestive problems, abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting just for starters. The chestnuts that we roast on an open fire are sweet chestnuts, from a different tree completely, which are found in woods and forests. Oh, and where does the ‘horse’ bit come from in the name ? Well, simply because the seeds were originally used as feed for horses, to make their coats shine, and even then, they had to be soaked, boiled and ground up before being added to the actual fodder.
The competition starts at 10.00 with a call going out for all those wearing ‘orange’ bibs to make their way to the Holding Area. Those with green, blue and red bibs would have to wait their turn. They enter the arena, and at their designated podium select their preferred conker from the bag offered to them by one of the judges. Play can then commence.
It takes a full two hours before the call goes out for Round 2 and the Quarter Finals finally commence at 14.30. Eventually though, we get to the semi-finals.
In the women’s competition, the first semi is contested by Blue 62 - Kelci Banschbach, an American, who will play Green 27 - Wonder Woman, and its Kelci who comes out on top and goes into the final. The second semi is contested by Red 33 – Tigger, who will battle it out with Orange 36 - an Air Hostess. And its she who goes through to meet Kelci, in the final.
The men’s semi finals are a much more formal affair without anyone in fancy dress. There were many at the beginning, but they all fell by the wayside, leaving us with Blue 39 - Alastair Johnson Ferguson from London, taking on Green 8 - Marty Veimam from the Netherlands in the first semi. There’s a huge contingent over from the Netherlands giving Marty plenty of vocal support but to no avail as he gallantly loses to Alastair.
The second Men’s semi-final sees Red 25 - Tony Hersey take on a man who has entered the championships for the past 47 years without ever becoming Champion, the man known as King Conker, 82-year-old, David Jakins. It’s a close affair but King Conker clinches it and will meet Alastair in the final.
The Women’s Final
Orange 36 Rosie Burbage dressed as an Air Hostess, which happens to be what she does for a living as well (and who's recent claim to fame was taking part in this years Toe-Wrestling Championships !) will take on Blue 62 - Kelsey Banschbach, an American from Indianapolis, who had never played Conkers before and had to have her arm twisted to enter !
It was a tough semi final with both ladies giving it everything they’d got and each thinking they’d won it on a couple of occasions only for the conker to remain in place for another strike. In the end, it’s Kelci who takes the victory and the title ‘Queen Conker’, the first American to do so. There have been other international winners from Canada, Germany, Austria, France, Australia and Mexico, but the lady from Indianapolis who has never played the game before comes out on top. Well done, Kelci.
The Men’s Final
In stark contrast to the Women’s Final, the Men’s was a bit of an anti-climax with it all being over with one hit. King Conker himself took on Blue 39 - Alastair Johnson Ferguson from London and with his first and only strike obliterated Alastair’s nut. Nobody could believe it – many had missed it as it happened so fast - and even though it has happened before, it rarely does. The conker equivalent of a Tennis Ace, you might say. One strike and its game, set and match and King Conker wins his first ever title.
The Final of Finals
This means that the ‘Final of Finals’ will be played out by a man who’s been playing the game for 47 years and a woman who has never played the game before in her life. King Conker, David Jakins will battle it out with Queen Conker, Kelci Banschbach. Will the master strategist with years of experience reign supreme or will the person making it up as she goes along, as she doesn’t know any better, defy all the odds and become Champion of Champions ! !
It was a very close-run thing, with each player taking their three strikes on a number of occasions and the advantage passing from one to the other. At one point it was thought that King Conker had won it, but Kelci wasn’t about to give in that likely, which is just as well because with one well-placed strike David’s conker became detached from its string and Kelci took the overall title. King Conker had been defeated.
With the outright winner now decided, the podiums were removed from the arena and replaced with the thrones for the King and Queen. King Conker, David Jakins and Queen Conker, Kelci Banschbach were presented with their trophies, gifts of tea towels and coasters, and their crowns in recognition of their hard-won efforts. Kelci, at the first time of asking and David at the 47th, which gave cause to the crowd to give him his own rousing rendition of God Save the King !
Wonderful.
And there you have it. 256 competitors whittled down to one, and Kelci reigns supreme. How ? No one knows, least of all Kelci herself – or does she ? Did she lead us all in a merry dance and knew exactly what she was doing all along ? Only Kelci really knows !
Now, under normal circumstances you might think it would be all over for another year, and, usually it is, but this year, there was a bit of a twist in the tail.
Within a few days of the Champions being announced, it was reported in The Telegraph newspaper that claims were being made that King Conker had swapped the conker that he’d picked out of the bag for a metal one, painted to look like an authentic conker and it was this was the reason for his victory over Alastair Johnson Ferguson in the Men’s Final with just one strike.
Never in the history of the competition has there ever been such controversy and it caused the Organisers to launch an investigation to maintain the integrity of the competition. Mr. Jakins strenuously denied all the allegations and when asked if he had any metal conkers about his person, he admitted that he had, and that the judges were aware of it and in their opinion, ‘it was very obvious that it’s not a real one’. He further suggested that he only carried the metal conker around with him to amuse children. "You get them to hit it with their conker and when theirs breaks, they can't believe it," he said.
Video evidence was obtained and studied but the Organisers eventually decided that whilst it showed that Mr. Jakins had put his hand in his pocket before putting his other hand in a different pocket and drawing out a conker he had prepared earlier, to throw to the crowd, he was seen by enough judges and umpires, who were looking directly at his hand and saw nothing ‘untoward’. It therefore concluded that it would be near impossible for him to have swapped any conkers unnoticed. On this basis, it said that "he had achieved his title fairly and that the World Conker Championships therefore congratulate Mr. Jakins on his victory after 47 years of play."
Wow, what an end to a bit of fun and games !
Next year, the World Conker Championships will be held on Sunday, the 12th of October, again at The Shuck in Southwick, Northamptonshire. It starts at 09:30 with the Champions announced at 16:00 ish.
The Players’ Rules
1. All conkers and laces are supplied by the World Conker Championships. Laces must not be knotted further or tampered with. Conkers are drawn ‘blind’ from a bag, and players may reject up to three selected conkers.
2. The game will commence with the toss of a coin, the winner of the toss may elect to strike or receive.
3. A minimum distance of no less than 8” (20cm) of lace must be between knuckle and nut for both striking and receiving players.
4. Each player takes three alternate strikes at the opponent’s conker.
5. Each attempted strike must be clearly aimed at the nut with reasonable force. Stewards may order a shot to be retaken.
6. The game will be decided once one of the conkers is smashed. A small piece of nut or skin (a third or less) remaining shall be judged out; it must be enough to mount an attack.
7. If both nuts smash at the same time, then new conkers shall be drawn.
8. Any nut being knocked from the lace but not smashing may be re-threaded and the game continued, or the player may choose to draw a new conker. The opponent may also elect to draw a new nut (as per Rule 1).
9. A player causing a knotting of the laces (a snag) will be noted, three snags will lead to disqualification.
10. If a game lasts for more than five minutes, then the ‘5-minute rule’ will come into effect. Each player will be allowed nine further strikes at their opponent’s nut, alternating three strikes each. If neither conker has been smashed during this time, then the player who strikes the nut the most times during this period will be judged the winner. If this is equal, then play continues, one strike each in turn, until one player hits and the other misses. Rule 5 must be followed.
You can find more information on the World Conker Championships by clicking here…
If you want to enter next year’s competition, you can do that by clicking here…
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